Photo by the ever loving 0vary.

mister meowly, what went on in your head?

My favorite parts of 2009, in sequential order:

Breaking up with amicably with someone who is great as I made plans to move to SF with a troupe of radical performance artist friends. This of course didn’t pan out and a breakup is a kind of a weird thing to put in this list, but the sentiment of adventure and a genuine sense understanding from the varied people in my life makes me happy. In a way this was the start of my remanifestation, as I struggled to know myself all over again. The support from all these people really made a difference.

The 48hrs I spent painting all night and running around town all day. Making friends meet up with me, talking to strangers, and flirting with Discordia’s favorite MILF. Drinking Hamm’s at twenty-something park in the spring. Holding chicks and looking at ducklings. Quality time spent alone, one-on-one, and in a crowd, all packed into one awesome punch. Creating art all along the way. That felt like it should be the rest of my life.

Riding my bike all over the place! [When it was nice out, I aint hardcore.]

My art show. No one bought any of the things I had for sale, but that was okay since nearly all the free stuff was cleared out. Once it gets off my hands and lives a life of its own, its really art. It was really awesome to expose myself like that and have the support and interest from my friends. People really seemed to like some of the stuff I have been hiding, and it was a really good boost to my esteem. It is a day I need to remember more often.

My moustache is a pretty important part of 2009, and I have to honor it by including a mention to it here.

Esozone and the Subgenius Devival was pretty damned fun. I don’t think I wrote about this on here, but I played a game where I refused to speak, but I would only answer people in twitter. I was able to hold out for a pretty long time, until it I came across the multitonal singing circle. Sadly I never caught up with the guys from that, I really would love to have more chances to bellow and throat sing with friends.

The work I did for The Parlour was great. I got more local exposure than ever before due to the poster work, and lots of people responded very positively to my work. I didn’t have that many experiences first hand regarding the work being out there, but I know that some of the right people saw what I was doing and stopped for a moment to see what I made. It meant squat as far as money goes, but it was fun to have that opportunity to have my work on the streets while it lasted.

I’m also going to include the fact that I found out you can buy Red Bull with foodstamps on this list.

Last but not least, I capped the year off by finding a very special young lady. It makes me feel good when I find the perfect person who brings out the best in me, challenges me to grow into myself, and is my partner in crime. I really wanted someone that I could picture making pictures with, and now I’ve got her. Style has always been one of the most important things to me, we compliment and aide one another. We both have a drive to actively explore our taboos and try things that are brand new and strange. Most of all, I feel like communication is open and easy. I feel pretty awesome about it. In a way the spell started with the first item on this list came to fruition.

2009 had some parts that stung, but nothing really different from most people out there in the world. I had my goals, and they weren’t met, but at least I inched a little closer and had some to begin with. Something I really need to work on is patience and optimism, so here I am giving it a shot. This post started out a bitch fest, but really I felt it was of the utmost importance that I remember the best parts of my time spent in the last year so I could use those threads to weave my path to the future.

Here’s to a fruitful and abundant 2010! Kiss kiss, darlings.

Not having time to post much lately beyond senseless faux vanity, but there
ya have it folks.

Maybe life will get awesome and I will be non-posty because I am busy making
art, maybe not.

So it goes.

Ryan Alexander-Tanner, of PDX Exposed and Dave’s Killer Bread fame, made a portrait of me! Behold!

Recently he made a pretty awesome post on his blog about a t-shirt design he was making for Dave, its a funny and insightful view into the painful world of being a creative for hire. Take a look.

Back in the day I used to come home from a long hard day at the porn store and Ryan would be up at 4AM reading and drawing comics, then we would go get some Rodeo Burgers at Burger King. How fondly I look back onto these simpler times.

Anyways, you should subscribe to his blog. His work has a really rich satisfying quality, and his personality shines through in all of it.

I really need to get on some ink brush work!

Thanks Ryan!

I took this picture around two years ago, its one of my favorite photos I have ever taken.

The plan was to sit on it for a while, and get a large print made up for a gallery show one day. It has been too long, so here it is.

It sums up everything about me, at least at the time I took it. I’m remembering myself lately, and revealing this image is in tune with that.

Manifesting and being what is on the screen at the same time, self love like snorting lines of absolutely absurd indulgent narcissism.

Its these kinds of pictures that have won me hoards of trolls and haters on these internets, people obviously too stupid to see that this is a counter-weight. The entire story isn’t here on the surface level, and it never has been.

Every item in the picture tells a little tale to me. Like I said many posts ago, ‘chaoflux’ means pleasant mess.

Feels good to expose myself.

thrown together in a few minutes like a vector haiku

Lots of things are going on with me, internally and externally.

Overall depression has been harder than usual to kick, but now I feel a little reinvigorated, feeling like I found the others, for real this time.

Anyways, plan is currently to go back to school sometime for fine art, no matter the expense or irrationality of it.

Got my catharsis this morning.

I’ve been working on a zine.

At first I had parts in there about design but I’m not feeling it anymore.

The stuff I’m taking out I’m just going to post here, mostly since popjellyfish wanted to read it, and maybe a few of you might actually need to. Its unfinished, and pretty unstructured, but its never going to get out unless I get it out now.

Its essentially design gripes from my own little point of view, somewhat in the context of speaking to my community of occultniks as a whole. I’m not sure I can even stand behind it, philosophically, but nevertheless, here it is. Enjoy.

Pretty Damned For Kids : Style Sheet Witchcraft

As a designer with a good network of creative and intelligent friends who represent their work online, it has been hard to navigate while biting my tongue. I have a backlog of criticism and unasked for advice when it comes to logos, site design, and identity creation that will never find its way out of my system unless I let it out, so in the following I attempt to relieve myself.

Specifically, my network is comprised of people who are all familiar with concepts such as memetics, magic, and marketing. I personally detest the practice of marketing the use of marketing as magic, because its tacky, but I also don’t have a problem with good natured hypocrisy. I am a ‘chaos magician’ after all, and thats just how we roll, right? Anyways, the following is addressed to those who understand this paragraph. This is especially for those who are creators of niche media and arts.

It seems to me that my community for the most part got into the occult via Chaos Magic or Crowley, but altogether ignored Anton Lavey, because somehow he was harder to take seriously than those two sources of reputable flimflam. Memes they may have missed out are on some of the most important ones a serious business wizard can have. LaVey’s magic is centered on practicality before spirituality, focused on the results in the here-and-now. In particular, Lesser Magic:

Non-ritual or manipulative magic, sometimes called “LESSER MAGIC,” consists of the wile and guile obtained through various devices and contrived situations, which when utilized, can create “change, in accordance with one’s will.” In olden times this would be called “fascination,” “glamour,” or the “evil eye.” […] To manipulate a person, you must first be able to attract and hold his attention.

- Lavey

(more…)

This is the logo for The Parlour, the venue a couple friends and I are working on.

Moustache design by popjellyfish.

I may want to tweak it in the future, but for now this will serve nicely. Its not really something imbued with my personal style, and its more popjellyfish than me, but thats just how the cookie crumbles when the order is for Olde Timey goodness. I’m much more of a New Wave person myself.

Speaking of New Wave, we found a CD of these guys in The Parlour : Pink Noise.

awwwwww. dreamy.

@popjellyfish First Night @ The Parlour

I’m at The Parlour right now. There is a show happening, we only knew it was going to happen today at around noon.

Threads tangled by chance into a magic carpet.

My friends and I are rebooting a venue next to The Chaos Cafe, and in time it could lead to something more than just a mess of kids putting on shows.

Everyone is shining their brightest, and I’m excited about what lays ahead for us.

The music isn’t quite me, but its optimistic feeling, and maybe that’s saying something. Things are changing, and this represents the next era for our strange little community, as we reach out to the greater one around us.

Things are looking are up.

In the future, more art, more music, and more memories.

Don’t miss out.